Hey everyone, I’m looking for some advice. I run a small business, and I pour a lot of time and energy into it. You know, calls, ads, everything! My wife, though, feels frustrated when I’m not available for what she wants when she wants it. I get that balance is key, but I’m not sure how to get her on board. How do some of you manage to get your spouse or partner to support your business journey? She has even told me at times to get a job, so it shows she doesn't understand what I am doing. I’d love to hear what’s worked for you—or even what hasn’t! I’d love for her to be part of the business more—ideally, I’d like her to handle admin one day. I want us to build this together, so she knows the ins and outs—bringing in leads, closing them—so that the success stays in the family. But I’m not sure how to get her excited about that. Anyone had luck getting your spouse to see the dream and want to jump in? PS: Background info, I used to be an RN but created a service business to be happy. It was either become one of those Jaded Nurses or leave and create something I will enjoy and still get to help people.

My wife (then girlfriend) started scooping for me because I had corrective eye surgery and physically couldn't service my clients. This was in my second year in business and I realized two things: I'm gonna marry this woman (because she's literally scooping dog poop for me lol) and that I can delegate the physical labor to someone else.We both quit our day jobs to focus on our business full time and I always say I wouldn't have as much success as I've had if it wasn't for her. But it's extremely difficult to remove work from our personal life, and I have to constantly remind myself not to bring up work stuff during a date night or dinner.I think what works is your spouse really needs to buy into the vision and to have a clear separation of responsibilities between the both of you so you aren't crossing wires.

I've been where you are man. But real talk — the dream you got, her doing admin, closing leads together, keeping it in the family, that's your dream right now, not hers. When she says "get a job" that's usually not a shot at you. Most of the time that means "I need us to have steady money" or "I miss my husband." And if that's what it is, pulling her into the business is the opposite of what she's asking for, cause now everything rides on the same thing with no steady check coming in.So before you sell her the vision harder, have one talk that ain't a pitch. No board, no potential, nothing. Just ask her "when you say get a job, what are you really worried about?" And then actually listen without defending the business. Whatever it is — money, missing you — fix that first. If it's money, show her the real numbers, build up some savings, put a plan in front of her so she can see there's a floor under the house. Making her feel secure is probably the fastest way she ever wants in.After she feels heard, then yeah, put your vision on paper or a board so she can see it. And if she's down, find her strengths and where she fits, or even something of her own that lines up with what you're building.But real talk, being an entrepreneur ain't for everybody and that's okay. You left nursing to be happy — for her, happy might just mean having a steady paycheck and working for somebody else, where the security feels safer than riding on the business. We all handle life different, and "keep it in the family" ain't the only way to win.My honest opinion? You make this work and show her it's working, but on the timeframe she's asking for. When she says get a job, she might be giving you a deadline, not a jab. Trust me, I don't want you ending up somewhere where nothing sweet you say fixes it. Fix the fear first, respect what she wants her life to look like, and her wanting in has a real shot at coming on its own.

I think it’s important to remember that this business was your dream, not necessarily hers. She already supported a major career change, so asking her to now carry part of the business too may feel like another sacrifice.

If I could offer one piece of advice - it would be to avoid having your wife help run admin in your business. Thing is, unless she believes in the vision for the business and wants to pour in to it as much as you, it'll turn your dinners in to shop talk and if you have to critique something she's doing, it'll be that much more awkward. This is obviously based off my own experience and advice I've received from mentors so take that for what it's worth. If you choose to involve your wife, my recommendation would be to have a very well thought out job description, duties, with SOPs etc. I wouldn't try to build something with her unless she has experience in that particular area and can bring expertise (like if she's an accountant and does your bookkeeping or something like that).

That's just it, it is working. We are almost on yr 2 and growing well. We just hired our first tech and moving into our next city in Sept. I just dont see why it is still hard fo rher ot come on board with our new reality. Thoughts?

How to Get Your Spouse to Help Support You and Your Business?

18 Replies

Homeownership
Contributor 5
18 days ago
I think it’s important to remember that this business was your dream, not necessarily hers. She already supported a major career change, so asking her to now carry part of the business too may feel like another sacrifice.
- linearscoops
  Contributor 3
  17 days ago
  I hear you. I am the future planner; she does live in the moment. Hard to get her to see ahead on what we could build if we both were building together as partners instead of me doing alone.
Roger
Jobber Ambassador
18 days ago
I've been where you are man. But real talk — the dream you got, her doing admin, closing leads together, keeping it in the family, that's your dream right now, not hers. When she says "get a job" that's usually not a shot at you. Most of the time that means "I need us to have steady money" or "I miss my husband." And if that's what it is, pulling her into the business is the opposite of what she's asking for, cause now everything rides on the same thing with no steady check coming in.
So before you sell her the vision harder, have one talk that ain't a pitch. No board, no potential, nothing. Just ask her "when you say get a job, what are you really worried about?" And then actually listen without defending the business. Whatever it is — money, missing you — fix that first. If it's money, show her the real numbers, build up some savings, put a plan in front of her so she can see there's a floor under the house. Making her feel secure is probably the fastest way she ever wants in.
After she feels heard, then yeah, put your vision on paper or a board so she can see it. And if she's down, find her strengths and where she fits, or even something of her own that lines up with what you're building.
But real talk, being an entrepreneur ain't for everybody and that's okay. You left nursing to be happy — for her, happy might just mean having a steady paycheck and working for somebody else, where the security feels safer than riding on the business. We all handle life different, and "keep it in the family" ain't the only way to win.
My honest opinion? You make this work and show her it's working, but on the timeframe she's asking for. When she says get a job, she might be giving you a deadline, not a jab. Trust me, I don't want you ending up somewhere where nothing sweet you say fixes it. Fix the fear first, respect what she wants her life to look like, and her wanting in has a real shot at coming on its own.
- linearscoops
  Contributor 3
  18 days ago
  That's just it, it is working. We are almost on yr 2 and growing well. We just hired our first tech and moving into our next city in Sept. I just dont see why it is still hard fo rher ot come on board with our new reality. Thoughts?
  - Roger
    Jobber Ambassador
    18 days ago
    Congrats on the growth man, that's real momentum. But real talk — it's working to you cause you see the numbers and the plan. She might be living a different year — you gone on calls, gone on ads, gone on everything, and what she feels is just you not being around, not the growth.
    So it ain't that she don't believe it's working. It's that "it's working" and "I got my husband back" are two different things to her, and right now she only got the first one.
    Ask her straight: "the business is growing and I'm proud of it, but what would make you feel like it's working for us, not just for me?" Her answer prob ain't about money. And honestly, it ain't too late to plan a little getaway either — even a weekend, just y'all. Sometimes that brings the spark back better than any talk, and reminds her why you started this in the first place.

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How to Get Your Spouse to Help Support You and Your Business?