In my opinion, if they work in the business, it shouldn't be in the day to day unless you guys started the business together and have clear defined roles. The last thing you want to do is have to manage your wife. When my wife was helping manage messages, it started to create some conflict as I wanted to coach her and it's a lot harder to "coach" someone you have a personal relationship with than an employee. If you work with them, have them do something like payroll, or bookkeeping if they are able or some other back end stuff. It's not worth the conflict.
Another perspective is we need to be carving out defined roles as we are growing. This means paying the correct amount for a role, so you have the budget for it. That means when you work in the field, you pay yourself for that. If you do sales, pay yourself a commission. And when your wife is your office manager, she needs to be paid as such. I think a lot of people hire family, and don't pay them correctly and all they are doing is robbing themselves.
This is a really good perspective.
The “having to manage your wife” part is where it can get tricky fast. Feedback that would be normal with an employee can feel completely different when it’s your spouse. Clear roles matter a lot. So does knowing when a conversation is a business conversation versus a marriage conversation. If everything blends together, the business stress follows you everywhere.
I also agree with the pay piece. A lot of family businesses hide labor because the spouse, parent, sibling, or kid is “helping out.” But if the role is real, the cost is real too. Paying the role properly gives you a clearer picture of whether the business actually works without free family labor holding it up.
