Working with spouse? What do you do if the company was MINE before is was OURS

Havent read the replys yet. will read and update if needed.

in short, you need to have different hats on. yes family gets the benefit of the doubt. and thats the problem. without knowing exactly what her KRAs are and job description. when at work, you need to wear the CEO hat and she wears whatver her hat is. if she wasn't your wife how would this go. (she needs to have this as well). AND when not at work YOU HAVE TO TAKE THOSE HATS OFF AND BE HUSBAND AND WIFE.  at work you would cuss someone out who is an employee (i hope) so you cant do that to her. basically treat her as if she isn't your wife. Harder than it may seem. But thats what has to happen. 

Create a proper job description a proper role and her responsibilites. Give goals and have follow up meetings regularly. and escalate if needed. 

• this needs done by x date.
• follow up on progress
• if done great if not discuss why and create plan
• repeat with new plan.
• if pattern is showing this isn't working. harder conversations
• hey if this continues we may need to see about hiring another person. i don't want to do that as that would require lowering pay on your end as we would need to pay the other person to do the job. but the deliverables HAVE to be done. as if they are not getting done that will effect our bottom line
• continue to escalate. basically she shouldn't be surprised when you ask her to step out of the business.

all that to be said. an honest conversation needs to happen. Does she actually want to be a part of the buisness. does she know her role. have YOU properly set her up for success, and set proper expectations. The plan needs to be set out with goals to track. And consequences for success and failure to meet said goals. 

practically speaking (again i don't know her exact role) but if those deliverables actually got achomplished...how much more could you do. how much growth could happen. would customers be happier leading to more sales therefore more money. basically yes she is "helping" but is that help actually costing you more money than if she wasn't and you paid someone else to do that job. And by doing that, could you actaully pay yourself more by taking a better profit, because you had more revenue? is she wasn't your wife, this conversation would be different as you probably would have let her go a long time ago. 

but family gets a bit more grace. after all you stay in the same house. so lead with curiosity. be open. ASK A TON OF QUESTIONS. she might nor realize the reality of it all, she may hate the place, or thinks she is doing a great job.

Lead that entire conversation as an apology. "hey i have **bleep** up. and now we have to have a conversation. i havn't told you any of this, and thats my fault but here are the problems happening. i pictured you doing xyz...i didn't lay that out properly. how do you want to go forward."