Different scale of problem than yours, but here's the method that worked for me: find the actual root cause instead of just apologizing generally, then actively redirect attention to what's positive.
I had a client whose fence section got damaged in a storm — my fault indirectly, because I'd missed our scheduled appointment and he'd taken the fence apart for access expecting me. The real complaint wasn't the storm, it was the miscommunication. So that's what I fixed: personal messages before every visit instead of relying on automated reminders.
Separately, I noticed the weed pressure was too high for the top dressing to be worth doing yet anyway — so I reframed the delay as a blessing in disguise (worse weeds post-dressing would've meant more problems, not fewer), followed up to confirm, and treated the weeds when they showed up. Small thing, but it gave him something current and positive instead of another thing to be annoyed about.
A couple things that might apply to your job specifically:
The gutter blow-up sounds less like a communication issue and more like a structural one — two decision-makers who don't agree is like having two bosses. Worth pushing for one point of contact per project up front, so you're not caught in the middle when they disagree with each other.
And the husband calling every night to "discuss the plan" reads like a trust gap. A daily update at a set time, through whichever channel he prefers, might take that off his plate so he's not the one chasing you — combined with making sure what's going well doesn't get buried under what isn't.
