How do you handle employees complaining about one another?

Question

Every once in a while I have team members who will complain about one another. The problem is that some of the things they complain about are not things that I have a major problem with. I usually tell them that I have to choose my battles but the complaining is just a weight on me. I don't want the team member that is complaining to feel like I don't care, or don't hear them but sometimes its just not a hill I want to die on. Hope that was enough information to answer this. Look forward to hearing how some of you handle team dynamics. Thanks in advance!

judithvirag · Answer

Tough one - some of it is just gossip.&nbsp; For this we have implemented a Zero Gossip Policy and we fire for this now.&nbsp;&nbsp;Having said this we do 360 reviews - we ask the employees to review their team members.&nbsp; This gives them a healthy way to give feedback.At times we have to dig deep and see if some of the comments are valid so we investigate.&nbsp; Then get back to the person who was complaining and discuss further.Hope this helps.&nbsp;

moly · Answer

This is tough but I feel like I shifted the culture on my team over the last few years to be: I will talk to you about it, but you’ll be the one to action—we all have to get used to hard conversations and over time they’re less hard. I don’t have hard conversations on people’s behalf like I used to.
People can see something like sharing their preferences around work processes or habits or communication as conflict, and until they do it a few times they’ll be scared to bring things up. After a few times they realize most conversations are way lower pressure than they thought, no one has hurt feelings, and they start to be more self-sufficient.
So I hear them out and in some cases talk them through how they could approach the conversation they’re nervous about, but I’m teaching them to fish so they come to me less.
Not sure if this is exactly your situation but obviously I’ve thought about this a lot!

brandensewell · Answer

This is great insight. So I hear you saying you try to get them to internally solve difference instead of bringing them to you. You would think adults would naturally do this. 🤣

moly · Answer

Haha yeah I actually had a chat with a peer this morning around a similar topic! It's so interesting how adults are actually so scared of certain conversations—immersion therapy is the only way through it!

brandensewell · Answer

This is great advice!

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How do you handle employees complaining about one another?

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